“Let me introduce this new term to you. If you happen to take up sociology in university, you’ll come across this concept called the tipping point”.
Indeed, even the decision to have a chat with the wise man was resulted by an accumulation of frustration and stress received from the various projects that I’m handling at the moment.
The amount of frustration, thoughts and questions were beyond my mental capabilities to hold. And I wanted to bounce off perspectives and thoughts from someone who could provide a viewpoint as a parent and also someone who is socially oriented from within. The first person who came to mind was one of my lecturers teaching Innovation and Entrepreneurship for Social Change (INESC). We recently then sat down to try and make sense of all the things that were running around in my mind.
Tipping Point, is the idea about how little things can slowly form into big differences. In our intense chat about growth and life, I’ve also learnt that tipping point often happens through a process of small changes, that some things don’t just happen because of a one-time event. And as I reflect upon our talking points, the concept came to me as a pretty relevant topic to aspects of life.
To give some background context : some of the world issues relating to social inclusivity and youth activism somehow frustrates me a lot, even if it’s on a personal level. It almost feels as if I’m born with a mission to be in this social space and contribute my strengths in bettering the lives of others. It’s not so much of a need to meet expectations though. Rather, a personal desire to see positive changes in our society.
Not sure if it’s even a normal thing for other 19 year-olds, but I have always been questioning myself about the root cause of these issues.
Does it mean that no matter how much effort is being put into social mobility, there will always be some other people stuck at the bottom of the social ladder?
Because some of the lower paying jobs have to be fulfilled regardless.
Also knowing that different people have differing interests and needs in life, how can we encourage more people to be in this space or invent something that interests them?
The past few weeks haven’t been the most smooth-sailing one for me, neither was it extremely pleasant. All the stress and unmet expectations, like the tipping point, has accumulated over this period and made me extremely emotional to a point where my eyes couldn’t stop leaking. There is so much to process in my mental capacity which leads to a lower performing standard produced at work, and sometimes even a brain lag when someone tells me a joke — the joke was no longer amusing anymore by the time I got the message of it.
The feeling of being not good enough, of being a loser who can’t do her assigned tasks well and a small pea in society with ambitious goals to make the world a better place always haunts me when I’m left alone in my daydream.
Who am I to dream big anyways?
Personal Experiences | Going Through A Slight Social Exclusion
Growing up knowing what it is like to have less than the majority, was also one of the reasons which drew me closer to improving the lives of people in the lower income group in Singapore. Through my internship exposure and course of study in the field of Business and Social Enterprise, I got to see with my own eyes into the perspective lenses of those in the lower socio-economic status (SES) levels. Embarking on toured learning journeys to Jalan Kukoh and interning at a company that does work on upskilling youth “at-risks” to get out of poverty got me to understand that social inclusion doesn’t necessarily mean creating a workspace for people from diverse backgrounds to work together — but it’s also
about a making an environment comfortable where each individual feel safe to be in, and will not be discriminated against.
When I was younger, I always thought that there was no such thing as income inequality. It was only until my recent encounters as I continue to take my steps into the “real world”, I realized that social and income inequality can exist on both extreme ends of the spectrum. Getting to know friends of a higher status wasn’t a barrier for me because we’re aligned by our intrinsic values and instead get along pretty well.
However on that note, I do notice moments when I feel left out and slowly fading away from the group discussion — In times when the clique talks about topics that were never introduced to me at all in my life. As I’m writing this post, I also wonder if it’s a matter of having the right platform for exposure where students can learn about these things outside of their homes and in school — that regardless of whoever they talk to, they can still feel involved and comfortable in the space.
Other Frustrations | Deep Conversations | Language Barriers
As a growing young adult, the desire to be independent and also a trait for individualism grows. Yet, it gets into conflict with the duties, responsibilities, expectations, and the asian culture that I grew up in. Each day that I have survived and lived through, I wonder how much of an “Anna” or as a “daughter” am I living as?
My lecturer responded, “every parent wants the best for their child”.
Drawing back to the idea of the tipping point, that was when my voice began to shake as I tried to articulate the issues I faced at home, thinking that no one ever cared about my passions in the social field. I looked at my lecturer with my blurry vision, as its fluids started to fill my eyes each time I blinked.
“Omg.” [pause]
“I’m sorry.” [pause]
“I don’t mean to cry,”
“but there’s just a lot going on in my life right now.” And I broke down right at that instant in front of my lecturer.
“No. No. It’s fine. No worries. Yeah.” He assured and patiently listened.
While I was intentionally avoiding his eye contact, I could sense his sincerity in listening to my rambles about my struggles with his attentive eye fixed at my crying face through the corner of my sight.
It was a difficult conversation to hold. And it hit me at the moment when he introduced an analogy about learning people’s languages. It used to sound very far-fetched when I first heard about this concept through others. Using the analogy of communicating with a deafie — also one of my passion topics that led me to picking up sign language as a CCA in school — hit me right at the core of my emotions.
“In other words, your parents are “deaf”. They can’t hear you, unless you learn to speak their language. Like how you would communicate with a person with hearing difficulties, you’d first pick up sign language, right? Communicate in a way that they can understand. If money is their language, then you have to talk about money! You’d have to take the first step.”
And I started crying because it reminded me of how similar the situation is at the moment. In realistic forms, my ageing parents are starting to lose their sight and hearing capabilities. And the next thing that came to mind was the fear that I could no longer communicate with them anymore.
“Let me turn the tables around. If say, you’re now the Deaf, how would you communicate to others?”
“Sign language?” I guessed, while constantly wiping away the tears off my eyelashes.
“No! You’ll learn to read people’s lips first,”
At the same time, gesturing how a deafie would communicate, writing down their messages on a paper. “If you think that people learning your language is a must and be entitled, then the deafies in Singapore will completely vanish from the world. It takes both sides to sacrifice and give in.”
Fuyoh. That was so powerful.
I always believed that giving doesn’t require someone to have the most, because having a little more is also a privilege that is hard to come by. Through the chat, I realized that while I may be struggling with many issues at one go now, there are many more things to be grateful for — like having mentors and industry practitioners whom I can look up to and seek wisdom from.
Times have changed indeed. Our generation is different from the previous one. We are bold, risk-taking and full of energy. Some may argue that our parents were once young and like us many years ago. But that was many years ago. The world that we live in now requires us to adapt to the advancing needs of technology and fast-paced growth of the industries.
Life now as a millennial/youth is so much more difficult than how it used to be, but that’s also our strength and assets for being innovative and resilient in pulling through each day, wanting to make a positive change in our society for the next generation after us.
Change is going to be difficult. It’s not something that will happen overnight. It’s an accumulation of hard work and perseverance.
He ended the meet up with 6 word-advice: Start Small. Go Deep. Look Far.
