Why “Take The Bad With The Good” Is Great: How The Movie Relates To Us & Our Society
Why This Movie?
Movie Synopsis:
Disabled at a young age, Kayan has been using the wheelchair. Working as a social worker at a secondary school, she constantly argues with the Principal whose views on human rights, sexual rights, gender discrimination and sex education are opposing to hers — as sex education in Hong Kong still lags far behind. Outside work time, Kayan advocates and campaigns for the sexual rights of the disabled but the topic of sex is still a taboo in Chinese society. Kayan meets Tim, also a wheelchair user, who shares the similar view with other disabled people that Love is a luxury for them. Suffering from sexual dysfunction, Tim retreats and refuses to love.
In the short blurb itself, it mentions a range of social issues that we are facing in our society — In summary: gender inequality, LGBTQ+, education, persons with disabilities, and sexual rights. Coming from a social science background, I knew I can’t miss this movie.
As part of the Singapore Chinese Film Festival, 10 online titles, curated from the selections from Taiwan, Hong Kong, and China will be shown from 29 April to 8 May, in a mixed format of in-cinema and virtual events. “Take The Bad With The Good” is one of the movies that was screened during the festival.
You may watch the trailer here:
What Is The Movie About [Spoiler Alert!]
Beyond the synopsis, it also subtly demonstrates workplace discrimination, family violence, mental health as well as a little on sexual assault. The movie starts off with why the male lead (Tim) became a wheelchair user and how he ended up as a teacher at a secondary school, where he was one of the school’s principal’s favourite staff.
I appreciate that the flow was very thoughtfully planned and that some of the scenes foreshadow the later parts of the movie (I.e. how the male lead does mountain climbing regularly, and cleverly uses a climbing rope as a way to help them stand without a need for a wheelchair, and saving their lives at the end as the main leads almost fell off a cliff).
Kayan, the female lead, who is the social worker at the secondary school, is a very liberal and opinionated woman, someone who believes very strongly in the causes that she cares for — even if it means putting her career at stake, she’s committed to going all out to fight against the norm and prejudice. The first part where she demonstrates this trait was at the start when she appeared in the school on her first day with a sleeveless dress — a typical outfit for ladies these days — yet was called out for being a slut because the attire was more revealing than a fully covered formal wear worn by the discipline master. The school’s logic was that teachers are the role models for students and thus should come to school with the “right” attire. In addition, the school’s argument includes how boys in secondary schools are going through a puberty phase, where female staff wearing revealing clothes would lead to them creating unnecessary fantasies. There, Kayan spoke up for herself and argued with the principal.
How These Relates To Us And In Our Lives
Firstly, on general and sexuality education.
“The topic of sex is still a taboo in Chinese society.” Even in Singapore, the go-to conclusions in sexuality education topics are always about “abstinence and how we should not have sex.” According to Today (2019), Aware’s Birds and Bees programme Tan Joo Hymm acknowledged the gap in sexuality education and how it’s not effective to emphasise solely on abstinence. “After all, very few people practice abstinence all of their lives. If youths do not receive comprehensive sexuality education, they may not have the necessary knowledge or skills when they engage in sex as adults” (Tan, 2019).
As much as topics like these are sensitive and intimate, how can we not talk about them it’s a part of life and it leads to issues such as teenage pregnancy, (and indirectly) homelessness, single parenting, and/or the increasing number of children in orphanages? (It’s a little far stretched, but you get what I mean.)
To fill the gap by providing accessible and adequate knowledge on sexuality education, Ms Junel Seet, one of the creators of Shy, a platform that aims to improve sexual health literacy among Singaporeans, shares informative articles, a glossary of topics related to sexuality and sexual health, and a curated question-and-answer segment featuring responses from licensed medical professionals (Awang & Oh, 2019).
Besides sexuality education, I believe that the mindset and the culture in schools can be improved. School, after all, is the first touchpoint for many young people as they get access to knowledge, perspectives, and exposure. In a school where there are very strong right and wrongs, it limits a student’s potential in several ways — creativity, wisdom, open-mindedness, curiosity to learn the contraries and etc. I’ll explain why education is an issue in the following paragraphs.
Secondly, on LGBTQ+
There was a scene where a female student was dressed in her Physical Education (P.E) attire instead of her school uniform and skirt, which raised a discussion among the school principal, discipline master (DM), and the form teacher in charge. The DM suggested to the school principal during the debate, that the student “should see a doctor about her disease, instead of changing the system to perpetuate”.
There, the form teacher states the definition of the word “disease” by World Health Organisation (WHO) to justify that being a part of the LGBTQ+ community isn’t a disease.
As compared to decades ago, I think we’re starting to see a slight improvement in acceptance and inclusion in society. We’re definitely not at the best we could be yet, but there is some change. It’s subtle. And it’s only happening because there are people who care about it and are brave to speak up for it. We’ve increasingly seen a number of ground-up initiatives speaking up for the LGBTQ+ community, to shed light and raise awareness about the issue such as My Queer Story, The T Project, Prout Telegram Channel, and so on.
Being an LBGTQ+ is more than just liking someone (or in other words, falling in love with a person) of the same gender. It’s about caring and appreciating a person, for them and for who they are, not just because they are of a specific gender. One of the quotes from the movie was: “I fall in love with you and not your gender, your entirety.”
Who are we to decide what’s right or “wrong” for them? Does loving someone of the same gender makes us any less of a human?
While some (homophobic) critics may disagree, I believe that their justifications are merely influenced by what they grew up with and hence are resistant to accepting people who are different from them. If we were to look at the issue in another parallel: the “ideal life” in the traditional logic is to find a partner, get married, have a family and complete the life cycle. Living in this day and age, some of us might have already realised that the traditional “ideal life” doesn’t necessarily align with our personal values sometimes. And that’s okay. Because we’re all different. So while acknowledging that our ideals may be different from what most people would have in the past, why do we still resist accepting people who are different from us and insists that everyone else should think the same way as we do?
Thirdly, on gender inequality.
One of the teachers, whose interest is in belly dance, was fired for taking part in belly dancing competitions and found on social media in “revealing attire”. Even after she privated her social media account, and chose to attend a dance class far away from the school, it was found out by the school principal nevertheless.
And I raised gender inequality as one of the issues because, the treatment at work for both males and females doesn’t seem to be fair (in the movie, of course). The male staff were never called out on their attire, on the other hand, Kayan and this female teacher were repeatedly shamed by the authorities and being labelled as a “slut” for wearing “revealing” clothes, even if they are out of the school’s vicinity.
There are definitely movements around improving gender equality. In Singapore, more women are actively involved in grassroots movements. The profile of these female grassroots leaders is varied — from young women, housewives, working professionals, and businesswomen. According to the Singapore Voluntary National Review Report (2018), one of the United Nation’s Sustainable Development Goals 5 on Gender Equality, Singapore is building up Women’s Representation through the Diversity Action Committee.
Overall, more can be done. But the first step is for all of us to acknowledge the existence of the issue, and to raise questions about it. Because of the assumptions and conservative culture that the educators in school hold, it imposes a certain ideology or image on the students about these issues which results in limiting their growth as humans.
Personal Thoughts During The Movie:
One of the parts I started tearing at, was when Tim initiates the breakup with Kayan. All was well, they were happy and they enjoyed each others’ company, but Tim decided that he was “not good enough” for Kayan. He started to ignore her calls, avoid taking the same lift, opening up the gifts that Kayan prepared for him.
I think it’s really sad when two people who love one another can’t be together. A selfless-selfish act (thinking that leaving someone can open up their possibilities, yet at the same time not considering the other party’s honest thoughts about whether the other possibilities really mattered to them) brings a sour heartache as I was watching the scene. I remember the scene so vividly — Kayan cries out loud and asked “why did you give me high hopes at the start if you think we won’t have a future?”
Then the Cantonese song goes: “In this eternal search of happiness, I will not give up on us. Let love lead us. I wait roughly, not for luck but for your recognition that I am able.”
In the relationship between Tim and Kayan, we can see that both of them really love and cares for one another. So what does it really mean to love someone if Tim decides to leave and claims that he can’t give her happiness? Does the ability to give Kayan happiness matter more than the company with Tim around?
Lessons
- The company in the present matters the most. IMO, as long as both parties are comfortable and feel loved by each other’s presence, that’s all it matters. It doesn’t have to last for a lifetime, people come and go. But it’s about having someone to appreciate life with, at the moment. Of course, the idea of “love” is subjective and I welcome you to share your definition of it.
- We can’t see change immediately, but it’s happening all the time. It happens because of the people who are actively speaking up for it. To fellow changemakers, fighting for change may seem a little scary and lonely sometimes. But it takes a great level of courage to be put in the spotlight. Fighting for change is what brings us to a better place, and for our next generations to be in a better state. To all changemakers out there, hang in there. ❤️
